“Get ready to weep tears of sorrow as bright as the brightest of beads, and like the bright beads you string to wear around your throat at the burial, gather your tears and string them on a thread of your memory to wear around your heart or its shattered fragments will never come whole again.”  Takwena

In the 40 days leading up to my 40th birthday, I walked for an hour each day to photograph the strange emotional landscape I had just encountered as a newly grieving Scottish widow.  Using Fairnie’s medium format Yashica camera loaded with rolls of black and white film,  I produced forty black and white photographs with text. This body of work captured my fragile map of pain.

This photographic process is shot from the gut, and the camera falls heavily on the stomach. The photographers eyes straining to centre on the world from that point and to respond place where grief settles so uncomfortably to remind us of the agonising scarring when death – the final frontier of our humanity – rips into our physical world and changes everything.